Woman Has Major Issue With Maxi Pads, Her Message To Brand Manager Is Now Going Viral
Cailyn Finkel 12/21/2016
A woman's menstrual cycle is not a fun time. Cramping, bloating, mood swings and impulsive behavior are only a few of the miserable symptoms that we, as women, suffer through every single month. That's why one woman was so incredibly peeved when she saw a tiny message inscribed in something millions of us use during Aunt Flo's visit: her pad.
With anger and comedic tendency boiling up, she decided to pen an open letter to the brand manager of the company that makes the pad! Her words are causing women around the world to burst out with laughter....
Wendi Aarons was the genius behind this open letter, and we're so glad she published it. Grab your reading glasses and get ready for a chuckle - any woman who has suffered through a period will relate to this!
"Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my 'time of the month' is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?"
"As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you [expletive] kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick.... freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put Down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong'? Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Her message has been shared thousands of time by women who are fed up with the frilly, unreasonable world of period packaging. Wendi (and many others) think it's time to ditch the frills and come back to reality - in the funniest way possible, of course!
If you relate to Wendi's frustration, be sure to share this with your friends and loved ones! We have to put a stop to the "Have a Happy Period" madness once and for all!
Sources: Wendi Aarons / FB Image Credit: The Shore Mom